Two of the laws stood out and I thought they deserved to be shared; the first because it's a great law that I wish we could implement here, and the second because we were stupid enough to have implemented it here ...
In a move that is either insane or the most awesome thing ever, the mayor of Megion in Western Siberia has banned the use of excuses by city officials. Bureaucrats are no longer allowed to say the following phrases: "I don't know," "It's lunch time," "It's not my job" and "It's impossible" amongst a list of more than two dozen other phrases that generally piss people off when coming from the mouths of government officials.
Our favorite has to be "It's impossible," as we're guessing city officials are now constantly inundated with requests such as, "I want the faucets in my house to dispense only pudding!" and "Make it rain vodka tomorrow," knowing the old, pat answer will no longer fly.
The official word on what happens if someone uses one of these phrases is that it will "speed their departure" which is probably the polite Siberian way of saying that you have to fight an especially quick brown bear.
Like bears and Mormons, the homeless become dangerous, bold and insatiably horny once they've been fed. The naive residents of the fairytale land of innocence known as Las Vegas are fortunate in that they have a city council watching out for them against this menace by enacting a ban on feeding the homeless.
City marshals will be enforcing the law, presumably by handing out sack beatings to both the homeless and their ne'er-do-well feeders. But fear not if you're one of those whiny "doesn't this mean the homeless are going to starve to death" types. A cracker or a sandwich won't get you a citation, according to the city attorney. But if you happen to be wandering the park looking to hand out a rack of lamb or a nice bisque, watch the fuck out.
